Faith

There is a word these days that I find popping up in my mind all the time! This word is one that I have known of for many years now. The word is faith! I have always associated the word to religion and to God himself but that was about it. I have never really applied it to my everyday life. These days I've been doing a lot of reflecting on all aspects of my life. Kind of a mid-life evaluation. Unfortunately I'm finding that there are too many areas in my life that I'm not very happy with. I'm not going to be able to change my life to be a perfect person and I'm not going to be able to please everyone around me at all times. There are going to be some things that I can and will start to work on though. The first act of my new realizations is the very word I began with.... Faith! I'm not as blind to the meaning as I once was, so the different ways will vary. First is with God! I feel so guilty for the different ways that I have been ignoring him in my daily life. He is supposed to be #1 on your list of importance isn't he? I grew up with the knowledge of God and the belief that he is our creator but have never had the experience of loving him unconditionally or relying on him to be my savior. I started going to church again with Dana a few years ago and have since stopped going. I think about him all the time and I always seem to have some great excuses on why I'm not close to him. I'm not too sure on how I'm going to fix this one but I have been (for many reasons) praying to him a lot lately. I want to rely on him more. I want to need him in my heart and soul. And so I'm going to let my self go and let the faith flow. I don't know if that is the proper way of wording that but for those of you who know me, I'm sure you know what I mean! Another aspect of faith that I'm going to try and work on is with my family. There are many different ways that I need to approach this. I love my wife dearly(more than anything) and we have been going through a tough time as of late. I'm not going to go through the details on that but the word faith comes into play a lot here. I have to have faith that we are going to make it through these hurdles in our lives. I have to believe in us and our family and our love. My children are another way that I need to have faith. Having faith in the way they are turning out as young women. Are they going to be smart, responsible, loving, etc.. You have to have faith in yourself as a parent and in how you are raising them. Everyone has stories on how they grew up and the different experiences that they have gone through. Some of which are not the most pleasant. I know that Dana and I (though different) have had our share of struggles growing up. Can I say that we don't have issues with ourselves because of those struggles... no but I believe we are good people and have much to give to this world. We have to have faith in ourselves and what we are doing for our children is good. That's an area where I know I struggle as well as Dana. This word is going to be something that I'm going to keep in my mind and touch on through out the day. I want to have faith! Some people might refer to faith as being blind or naive but not me. I know who I am and I don't think I'm either. Is this an uphill climb? How am I going to do? Well, I guess I have to have faith in me having faith!!!